April Birds and May Bees

Dearest Blog,

2009-03-04T08:45:00.003-05:00

You know, I've been thinking of breaking up with you for a while now. I really do love you, and as ridiculous as it sounds, you have been a constant in my life since I lived in New York three or four years ago.

So it hasn't been fair of me to give you, oh beloved blog, the ol' "phase out" -- you know, the worst way to end a relationship. The "I'll just ignore it until it breaks up with me." The passive, cowardly way out. Nobody deserves to be ignored if they're offering themselves to you for your acceptance. The phase out is, undoubtedly, the saddest way for a relationship to die.

So, April Birds and May Bees, I think we're done here. I honestly enjoyed my time with you, and I'll look back at your archives for years to come. Much love, my friend. Good-bye.

An Incomprehensive List of What I'm Thankful for This Holiday Season, or I Hope John Doesn't Mind that I Used My Email to Him as a Blog Post.

2008-11-26T09:43:00.006-05:00

in honor of the very blessed holiday that's coming up on thursday, i will now recount what exactly i'm thankful for, in no particular order:

challenges: hell, how would I define myself without 'em?
family: hell, how would i define myself without 'em?
frank-dog: even though my mom just told me he chewed my dining room table that is stored at their house
my desire to question everything: see "challenges"
my friends: genevieve bovee? keri smith? lexia snow? sara snow? sarah hill? sarah day? shan mukhtar? you? god, i can't think of a life without these folks.
new york: best time of my life; can never be recreated.
my ability to put a nostalgic, sentimental spin on my past.
saul bellow: how does he create such atmosphere in a couple of sentences?
the clash, specifically "guns of brixton": never fails to get me motivated to move my ass.
the sun: i never knew how much i relied on it until i moved to a place where it rises at 9AM and sets at 4PM (if it ever shows up in the first place).
my education: though i'm paying for it dearly, i can pick apart literature (and life) with the best of 'em.
your vegetarian lasgana: what i wouldn't do for even a small plate of that right now.
dreams: keep me putting one foot in front of the other. even though right now it feels like i'm putting one foot behind the other.
children: uncensored emotions. life before calculation and manipulation = perfection.

Thanksgiving, My Style.

2008-11-26T09:30:00.003-05:00

Okay, so "my style" is basically my mom's style and my grandma's style. But I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner last Thursday for the family I'm staying with. Yeah, it was a week early, and it wasn't quite the same as chillin' and watching SEC football and the Macy's Parade, but it was nice. And everything turned out pretty well. Here's proof:

I also cooked a pretty kick-ass turkey, but I didn't get a photo of it until after it was carved up. And a photo of a carved up bird carcass? Not a wonderful image.

Scottish Highlands and the Isle of Skye

2008-11-26T08:48:00.007-05:00

(Finally, huh?)

I don't know how many photos of landscapes you can stomach before you become completely bored (no matter how awesome the scenery is), but I took these at the beginning of the trip, and before I knew people enough to take photos of them, my camera died. (And of course I forgot the battery recharger.) So here are photos of landscapes. And no photos of people. (Wait -- there's one with me in it, huh?) Right.

2008-11-19T14:50:00.001-05:00

Photos from my tour of the Highlands, comin' right up.

Highlights of Today

2008-10-30T18:16:00.003-04:00

Ross (3 years old): "Lauren, can I see your nipples? Here're mine. They're tiny."
Ross has started using the word "effectively." Correctly. Example: "But Lauren, effectively, I can eat this bite and still get a biscuit, right?"
Bill's mom, Gram, is visiting. And she brought her black lab. It's so nice to have a dog around. And a grandma.

2008-10-24T04:48:00.003-04:00

Scottish weather is like a muscular, moody, beautiful poet. He speaks his poems aloud; his face, his voice, and his words are too exquisite to ignore. He doesn’t use iambic pentameter or regular rhyme but mocks meter and any sense of predictability. Until, with a masterful volta, he ends abruptly, and the listener becomes nothing more than a willing victim, stunned and satisfied.

(I wrote this last night when I was lying in bed, listening to the gale-force winds and rain, and remembering the impressions I had of the weather in Wuthering Heights. This description might be a little dramatic, but yeah, so was the weather last night, and it kind of cast that mood.)

The Week in Review

2008-10-18T10:16:00.005-04:00

On Wednesday morning, I went to Edinburgh to meet up with a backpacking tour group to travel around the Highlands and the Isle of Skye. But the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh was super late because of construction on the railway line, so I got to Edinburgh after the tour had left. So I rescheduled for another tour in a couple of weeks and walked around Edinburgh the rest of the day. I really loved Edinburgh -- even the kitschy souvenir shops that sell whiskey, "kilts," family coat of arms and all of that stuff.

On Thursday, Jo, the kids, and I drove north. Great weather. Wonderful scenery. (I've never seen so many rainbows in my entire life as I did in that one day.) Here are some of the highlights.

We stopped at Doune Castle along the way. It's where the first part of Monty Python and the Holy Grail was filmed. You know, when the two guys are arguing about swallows or something, and one of them replies that he'll fart in the other guy's general direction? Yeah, that's this castle.

Then we drove until we got to Oban, caught a ferry to a little island in the Inner Hebrides (Lismore), turned around and came back.

We stopped on the way back to take some photos of Highland cows.

And here's this photo, just because I think it's absolutely hilarious. It kind of makes me like McCain a little more.

2008-10-05T16:57:00.002-04:00

The weather was unbelievable today, so we headed to Loch Lomond for a barbeque.

2008-10-04T04:54:00.001-04:00

As of yesterday, I've been in Glasgow for one month. Doesn't feel like it's been that long.

My New Hiking Boots

2008-10-02T09:24:00.003-04:00

It might be shallow of me to be this excited about material things, but I'm just as excited about these as I was my Frye boots, my MacBook, and my iPod. Judge me. I don't care. I'll just be gently petting my new Merrells whilst you shake your head in (jealous) disgust. AND they were on sale.

Next Up, or What I'm Spending My GPB*s On.

2008-09-30T17:09:00.006-04:00

Venice. With Genevieve. On November 28. Booked the flight already.
The Western Isles of Scotland. By myself. On October 14.
The Highlands on a two-day tour.
Edinburgh.

* Great Britain Pounds. One is worth two of yo' dollahs.

Catch-up, or Less Blog Posts = Busier Life.

2008-09-30T15:33:00.012-04:00

This is what I've been doing and where I've been since my last post. This might be a boring post, so I apologize in advance.

Kelvingrove Museum and Gallery (Hanging heads, best seen here.)

Pollok Park (Next five photos.)

Spiers Wharf (complete with face painting, kayak basketball, and ferry ride down the canal.)

Glasgow School of ArtI took this photo and was quickly reprimanded for taking the photo and drinking my cappucino. If I had known this was the only picture I'd get of the place, I would've taken a photo of something else. (But I did like this chair -- designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh.)
This is the exterior of the Glasgow School of Art. Also designed by Mackintosh.

And this is the alley (or lane) behind our flat that I stare at from our kitchen window. I absolutely love this place. Owned by an 80-year-old man. (I don't know why it's relevant that an old man lives here, but I automatically love him because he looks like my great-grandfather.)

And on Saturday, Jo and I went through the lake district of northern England where I took absolutely no pictures. So, just for you to get an idea, I stole this one from the web.

2008-09-16T08:43:00.002-04:00

Following that last post, I've been quizzing myself on world geography. Take a few quizzes yourself here. And let me know how you do, if you want. (I'm definitely the worst at locating African countries and even Eastern European countries. And forget about me knowing the capitals of them.)

I Think I'm Dumb, or What's the Capital of Australia?

2008-09-15T04:11:00.002-04:00

Last night, I was trying to prove to Alfie (the 16-year-old) that Americans aren't as stupid as the rest of the world thinks we are. Then he asked, "Okay, so what's the capital of Australia?" And I had no idea. I guessed Sydney, which I knew wasn't right. Do you know the capital of Australia? Without Googling it? What about Brazil? Argentina? What about Canada even?

It's sad how little I knew. I consider myself fairly well-educated, but I have never been taught the capitals of most other countries. Have you? I mean, I can name the capitals of almost all fifty states in the U.S., and I can show you where, geographically, most countries are, but I've got some studying to do...

I try to be aware of current events around the world, and I generally know what's going on in other countries, but maybe I just know enough to be dangerous. How do you learn the history of every conflict that the U.S. has been in, let alone the rest of the countries in the world? It's an almost impossible task if you haven't been taught well throughout school. But I'm going to read as much as I can. Starting with All the Shah's Men which I've started about three or four times, but never finished.

If I ever have kids, they have to be more educated about the rest of the world than I have been up until now.

Who Knew?, or The English Aren't the Only Ones on This Isle with Rockin' Music

2008-09-11T17:02:00.004-04:00

I didn't realize that I love so many Scottish bands; some of my favorite ones are even from Glasgow.

Here are more Scottish bands that I like, and most of 'em I didn't even know were Scottish:

The Beta Band. One of my all-time favorite bands, and I didn't even know they were from Edinburgh.
Franz Ferdinand (Glasgow)
Belle and Sebastian (Glasgow)
Camera Obscura (Glasgow)
The Delgados
The Fratellis (Glasgow)
Idlewild (I figured they were Scottish because they have a song called "Scottish Fiction.), (Edinburgh)
The Jesus and Mary Chain
Mogwai (Glasgow)
Snow Patrol
Simple Minds, (Glasgow) one of the only '80s bands I actually like that's not punk rock besides...
Annie Lennox/The Eurythmics

Too lazy to make links for all of these bands. Maybe later.

Couple o' Castles and ASDA, or Different Worlds

2008-09-11T04:05:00.007-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, we went shoe shopping for the kiddos. Then we went to this park about 30 minutes outside of Glasgow -- Mugdock Castle, built in 1372. (There's also a derelict castle in the same park, pictured just below.)

Stove from newer addition to the castle (1800s).

Then we went to ASDA, a supermarket owned by Wal-Mart. Nicer than any Wal-Mart I've ever been to...

Photos!!

2008-09-10T07:17:00.010-04:00

You asked for 'em. You got 'em. (Finally.)

These are just of the kids and the house. More to come.

Ross (3)

Ross in action

Gracie Face (17 mos)

Ross

View from our flat

Kitchen

Dining Room

Music Room

Kitchen

My Room (It's much brighter than this picture depicts. And now it's cleaner.)

Sitting Room

View from Sitting Room

View from my window

Another view from my window

My own kitchen

Foyer

Sitting Room (with Ross)

Scottish Cuisine, or I Ate Haggis

2008-09-10T07:05:00.005-04:00

So, you know, Scottish food is... interesting. Anyone that's seen 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' has heard of haggis. Know what it actually is? Ground lamb lungs, beef heart and liver, mixed with oatmeal and traditionally stuffed into a lamb's stomach to cook. (But they wouldn't eat the stomach after cooking it, so it's not that gross.)

Well, I ate haggis a few nights ago, and some of you know that I wasn't eating meat at all before I left the US. So not only was I struggling to eat meat, I was struggling to eat the organs of a cute little baby lamb. I managed because I ate a huge amount of mashed potatoes -- mixed the haggis right in with it. Wasn't that bad, if I didn't think about it.

What I like most about eating here is breakfast. Or more specifically, Chelsea buns. Which, by the way, are English not Scottish. The dad in the family I'm staying with is English, and he makes amazing Chelsea buns. They're kind of like cinnamon rolls, but not quite as sweet or cinnamony. I'm bringing the recipe home and baking them for breakfast on Christmas morning.

And I absolutely love that it is perfectly normal to drink coffee and/or tea all day long. And I love that the family I'm staying with has two espresso machines. That'll be my first purchase when I get back to the States.

Caledon, or Donny Osmond's Naked Butt Cheeks

2008-09-06T18:14:00.004-04:00

Tonight I saw, hmm, how do I even explain this one?

I went to a Caledon concert -- "Scotland's Three Tenors" -- with Bill (the dad who works at BBC). I went in thinking, "Okay, tenors. Expect opera." But Bill had told me (warned me?) that there would probably be kilts involved, so I totally took him up on the invitation when he mentioned that. Just for the novelty of it. Not because I wanted to see naked man buns. But saw 'em, I did.

So the first half of the concert was generally unassuming and measured. Pretty good voices, if you're into that sort of thing, and they sang some Scottish folk songs that were kind of nice, though I couldn't understand a word of it. And the middle tenor looked just like Donny Osmond to me.

The second half of the concert, after intermission, was markedly different. A couple of songs in, the pianist started rocking out (Does one "rock out" on piano?) to... I can't really remember. Annie Lennox? Rod Stewart? Anyway, some Scottish pop songs. Then the tenors came out in neon orange kilts. They did a medley of Scottish pop songs, including my favorite, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand -- pelvic thrusts for "take," "me," and "out" in the chorus. (If you know the song, this might be funnier.)

At some point, the dudes did twirls, and yes, my friends, I saw Donny Osmond's naked butt cheeks. Not altogether a bad thing, but definitely more bad than good.

Who would go to a show like this, you ask? Old women. And by old, I mean in their seventies. As Bill put it, "Those old ladies were all but throwing their panties on the stage. Well, their hideously long, large knickers, anyway."

They ended their set with a lively rendition of The Proclaimers' "500 Miles" which I will, undoubtedly, be singing for days on end.

2008-09-05T18:51:00.003-04:00

Don't you hate it when you see you have tons of new emails in your inbox, and then you realize that they're from Amazon, or Barnes and Noble, or ebay, or Crate and Barrel (or, in my case, fifteen fiction submissions to read)?

2008-09-04T18:22:00.001-04:00

Really? Does NO ONE have Skype? Add me as a contact if you do. Right now. Go.

Campaign 2008

2008-09-04T16:12:00.002-04:00

I might alienate myself from some of my readership with this post, but you know, it's my blog. And when have I ever been known to censor myself really?

Right now I'm watching the Republican National Convention on the British equivalent of C-Span (and getting more pissed off at the Obama-bashing by the minute, by the way), and I thought I'd let you all know that Europe is even more obsessed by this election than we are. Which is both sad and intriguing. I just spoke for about an hour with the 16-year-old son in this family I'm staying with, and he knows more about American politics than probably half of American adults who vote. The newspapers are chock full of articles about the election.

And guess who they want to win...

As far as I'm concerned, that's one more reason to vote for Obama. I've said it the whole time, and I'll say it again: I think Obama would bridge a lot of gaps with our international ties. Apparently Europeans agree.

(Another reason I'll be voting democrat is because Sarah Palin just said that she wants to lay more pipeline and drill offshore, and the crowd went wild. Grrr. I am so adamantly against that, I can't even articulate it. It just seems so fundamental and obvious to me that we don't need to drill domestically.)

2008-09-04T08:19:00.005-04:00

I just took tons of photos of the house and kids, and then I realized that I'd packed the wrong cord to attach my camera to my laptop. I'll have to get my mom to send it to me.

But I got in late yesterday, and everything is wonderful. The kids and rest of the family are amazing, and I can't wait to see more of Glasgow.

Thanks for all of your comments on that last post. And since there will be no photos immediately coming to this blog, send me your addresses, and I'll send you postcards! Just as soon as I venture out of the house and find postcards/stamps...

2008-08-31T23:11:00.001-04:00

I miss you all already, and I haven't even left yet.

Four Eyes

2008-08-08T17:49:00.007-04:00

I had to start wearing glasses again. I'm reading so many fiction submissions for a couple of different journals online that my eyes have been revolting against me. It's not a vision thing -- it's a weird muscle fatigue thing. My eyes spasm and won't focus on anything close up or far away.

I had to wear glasses my senior year of high school because I read The Illiad, Moby Dick, Franny and Zooey, and Lord of the Flies in one summer. (Right, Sara or Keri? I'm having trouble remembering.) After I stopped reading so much, my eyes just kind of went back to normal. I'm sure I have a picture of me somewhere with my Lisa Loeb glasses on, but I don't want to go to the effort of find it.

So here are my new Lisa Loeb glasses.

What do you think?

Nah. But seriously. What do you think? (I tried to pose so that there wasn't a glare, but in case you can't tell, they're a kind of red-brown color.) Yay or nay, people? Lexia? You're good at picking out glasses -- what do you think?

P.S. Is that my Mirror Face in that last picture? Damn it.

Glasgow Kiss*

2008-07-29T17:30:00.002-04:00

So it's official. I've accepted a job as an au pair (live-in nanny) in Glasgow, Scotland. I leave on September 1st and come back on December 22. I'm so excited!

The boy is 3, and the little girl is 15 months old. The family lives near the city center (or centre, rather). The mom is a classical violinist, and the dad is a BBC producer. Can't wait to meet 'em!

* A Glasgow Kiss is a headbutt, something I hope I don't experience while I'm there.

God Bless the Government

2008-07-27T18:33:00.004-04:00

4.21% APR on Federal Student Loans?

Awesome.

Bet you thought I was being sarcastic with the title of this post, huh? I wasn't.

And Another.

2008-07-03T00:11:00.000-04:00

There’s a chair
against the wall
with a Post-It note
on it that says:

About
to
Break.

I’m not so different
from that chair --
legs buckling
beneath me.

Another Mediocre Poem from a Fiction Writer, Entitled:

2008-07-02T22:18:00.005-04:00

Proof That I Analyze Everything, or
Being Crushed Ain’t That Bad, or
I Land in Random Places

“People get crushed like biscuit crumbs.”
-- Thom Yorke, “Black Swan”

In England – Great Britain – the UK – what-have-you –
they call cookies “biscuits.”

And so, if people get crushed like biscuit – cookie – crumbs,
that’s not so devastating an analogy.

See,
the smaller the crumb,
and the larger the object that’s doing the crushing,
the less destructive the impact.

And we’re all peons.

Picture this:
A grain of sugar -- crushed -- by an elephant’s foot.

The grain of sugar will be the same shape and size
pre- and post-
impact.
It won’t be pulverized.
It’ll still be a decahedron.

When I get crushed,
I shoot out
from under the elephant’s foot
like a BB.
Land in random places –
On the sunny windowsill,
In the folds of my grandmother’s quilt,
Or exposed,
between the tiles
of the bathroom floor –

‘Til I’m crushed again.

A Real, Bona fide Poem

2008-06-08T17:05:00.001-04:00

You think that novice poets –
Ones like you and me –
Should stick to writing poems
About philosophy.

(And I tend to agree.)

Problem is, my friend,
I hope you won’t deny,
the acute, poetic moments
of a life more simplified.

(But then, you’re a contrary guy.)

For philosophies, as I see them,
even if it’s not the norm,
Aren’t just made of dead ideas –
But from head and heart, they form.

(Nietzche would probably squirm.)

Experience is the best teacher.
An old line heard before.
And logic is born of chaos –
Chaos emotions bore.

(By the way, I think you’re a logic whore.)

Oh, and poems about “Nature,”
Of leaves of grass or “trees,”
Aren’t always about Nature,
But of Man’s tendencies.

(The best one is called “The Flea.”)

And as for poignancy,
Don’t pretend, my dear,
That you can’t see the “poetic clarity”
Of a single tear.

Broken Window Theory

2008-06-07T10:51:00.002-04:00

My car got broken into again last night. In my (gated) apartment complex.

If my car was crappier, and I didn't think it'd get completely stolen, I wouldn't even get it fixed. I'd drive around with no driver's side window.

Some days I really hate Atlanta. Today is one of those days.

I think I'm going to look up which city has the lowest crime rate and move there. I'm really sick of this.

Daily Horoscope For Aquarius

2008-06-06T20:24:00.001-04:00

"Love is in the air, but it's up to you to make something special happen. Even if you aren't buzzing with romantic energy, you still might be on a creative high. Your ability to collaborate with a playful partner now is high, so keep your eyes peeled for someone who can add something meaningful to what you are already trying to express."

Hahahahaha.

What TO Listen to...

2008-06-06T14:39:00.003-04:00

when in a funk*:

"Rearview Mirror," by Pearl Jam. OVER and OVER.
"Feelin' Good," by Nina Simone
"Ramble On," by Led Zeppelin
"Breed," by Nirvana
"Get Over It," by OKGo
"Bankshot," by Operation Ivy
"U-Mass," by the Pixies
"Breathe," by the Prodigy
"Arpeggiator," by Fugazi
"Sabotage," by the Beastie Boys
"Bad Kids," by Black Lips

*Any more suggestions on this front would be appreciated.

What NOT to Listen to...

2008-06-06T14:28:00.005-04:00

when in a funk:

"Oh, Comely," by Neutral Milk Hotel
"My Body is a Cage," by Arcade Fire
"Casimir Pulaski Day," by Sufjan Stevens
"No One's Gonna Love You," by Band of Horses
"God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys
"I Fall to Pieces," or "Crazy," by Patsy Cline
"Eleanor Rigby," by The Beatles
"Forever For Her (Is Over for Me)," by the White Stripes
"Lonesome Tears," by Beck
Anything by Nick Drake, Elliott Smith, or Aqualung
"Hallelujah," by Jeff Buckley
"Ain't No Sunshine," by Bill Withers
"With or Without You," by U2
"Tristeza," by Liz Janes

2008-05-26T15:14:00.001-04:00

Instead of writing fiction recently, I've been writing fragments like this one. What do you think? I mean, regardless of if it's crap or not, I'm enjoying taking a break from writing coherent, structured stories.

I want to write the fiction equivalent of an Air song.

I want it to be dedicated to you, and I want you to love it.

I want to forget about audience and salability.

And I want to forget all of the stuff I’ve ever read and ever will read; I want this to be new and for you.

But I have to buy a bigger bookcase, you know. Because of all the lit classes I’ve taken. I’m the nerd that doesn’t sale back my books at the end of the semester.

Anecdotes only go so far before they’re not poignant anymore, so maybe I’ll stop and construct a paragraph.

Nah.

It’s not about what I say, but how I say it, eh?

Well son of a bitch, there’s nothing new to say, so there’s no use in saying it.

2008-05-21T00:17:00.003-04:00

There were seven apples on the table.
Seven.
The perfect number.

The apples aren’t perfect.
They look perfect.
Red and shining with polished wax.
But they're bruised.
Drying.

I ate one tonight and the pulp
disintegrated in my mouth
like tasteless powder.

It’s what I get for forgetting to eat dinner.
A bad apple.

Now there are six unholy apples on the table.

Today's Horoscope

2008-04-19T17:00:00.003-04:00

"You are adept at avoiding emotional discussions that make you feel vulnerable, for it's often easier for you to think about something than it is to feel it. [That's cor-rect.]

Today, however, you won't be able to sweep the intense emotions under the rug. [Watch me.]

You must get it out into the open by talking about what's on your mind. [Fat chance.]

Luckily, it really won't be all that hard if you think about what you must say. [I always think about "what I must say." What makes this time any easier?]

Let your words pave the way for your intentions. [Ohh, that's what makes it easier for me to talk about what's on my mind. By letting my words pave the way for my intentions. Worst sentence ever. On so many levels. I don't even know what that means. Do you?]"

Parallax

2008-04-14T11:47:00.004-04:00

I'm pretty sure that "parallax" is the coolest word and coolest concept in the history of words and concepts.

Parallax is "the apparent shift of an object against the background that is caused by a change in the observer's position" (wikipedia). In other words, you know how when you cover one eye and look at a fixed object, and then switch and cover the other eye, the object looks like it's moved or changed? That's parallax.

Maybe I'm boring you, but the point is, parallax is a metaphor that James Joyce uses to describe variant points-of-view and perception shifts in Ulysses. How cool is that?

I'm boring you. I can tell.

If I had a band or a record label, I'd call it Parallax. Or maybe my first novel will be titled Parallax.

Do you ever have one of those days...

2008-04-01T16:10:00.003-04:00

when it feels like your nerves are exposed? Right now it seems like my skin is pulled too thin and the sensation from one of my own fleeting thoughts, or the smallest of someone else's actions, or the tiniest sentence in Ulysses feels like a cheese grater connecting with raw flesh.

That's disgusting, huh?

I think I'm stressed out with school. And possibly a little over-caffeinated.

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

(Moral of this story: Might be best to steer clear of me today, or I might curl into the fetal position and start screaming in gibberish.)

Let's go back to June, 2007

2008-03-29T23:38:00.005-04:00

When I said...

"No Matter How 'Cool' It Is, I Will Never. . .

Wear Crocs
Listen to Emo
Become obsessed with 24 or Lost
Like the Mets
Live in a huge house in a subdivision."

Well, you guessed it -- I'm totally addicted to Lost.

I'm in the Home Stretch

2008-03-25T11:05:00.004-04:00

Did you ever really think it would happen? I'm graduating this semester, folks. With an undergraduate degree. (I'm 26.)

School's getting tough, which accounts for the lack of posts recently. But I think I'm going to do a countdown -- count down the days until I'm finished. It won't make for interesting reading but, I say, we throw a little blog party on May 10th. (I'm not sure what a blog party would entail except for massive amounts of comments.)

So today, there are:

46 Days

until I graduate (including weekends).

(Countdown is under "April Birds and May Bees.")

I think I need more pictures on my blog.

2008-03-13T14:06:00.003-04:00

So I give you:

Untitled, by my favorite photographer, Gregory Crewdson.

ROAD TRIP.

2008-03-13T13:59:00.000-04:00

To all my friends that are graduating this semester, have graduated in the past, or plan to graduate in the future, I say:

ROAD TRIP.

I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life, I’m hoping I’m not the only one out there that feels the same way, and I think a nice trip ‘round the ol’ US will be a nice way to cap off my (and your?) undergraduate career.

What I really want to do is drive up the West Coast. Who of us East Coasters has done this? I mean, maybe you have, but you can do it again.

Flights are cheap to L.A. right now, so maybe I (we) could fly in there and hit up San Francisco (or maybe we could start out in SF), Portland (and other parts of Oregon), Seattle, and maybe end up in Vancouver, B.C. and fly back from there. (If I [we] fly back from Seattle, the entire flight – from Atlanta to LAX, and Seattle to Atlanta, would be about $350; if I [we] fly back from Vancouver, the flight would be about $400.)

Or we could just drive out there. I just got new brakes.

I’m completely serious. Let’s go. Soon. (I think we should leave after or during the graduation ceremony on May 10th.) You’re probably already in debt – what’s a little more, eh?

Or, if you live along the West Coast and are willing to lend me a sofa for a night or two, I'd much appreciate it.

P.S. I'm sending this message out in multiple forms (i.e. email, facebook, blog, etc.) so, chances are, you'll probably see this again. Please consider it every single time you see it. :)

2008-03-13T12:18:00.001-04:00

I would like to take this opportunity to bitch about school.

I'm so tired of it.

That is all.

2008-03-10T23:32:00.004-04:00

So poetry isn't my chosen means of expression, but I'm warming up to it.

I have to write ballads and sonnets and dramatic monologues for my poetry class, but all I really want to write is stuff like this:

I have two trees in my backyard,
One is a conifer variety of trust,
The other a variegated truth.
The needles of the trust fell last season.
The evergreen is never green.
Not anymore.

The limbs of the trust are thick
But brittle.
When ice coats the bark,
Branches split and snap.
And the pulp is left exposed.
Freezing.

The variegated truth blooms and buds,
the seasons unheeded,
Leaves unfold to reveal --
Contrast.
Variations of little white lines.
Little white lies.

The branches of the truth yield easily
to gusts of wind.
Bounce back to announce:
Nothing has changed.
Air is just air, no matter the strength
Or velocity.

2008-03-09T16:24:00.005-04:00

What I'm listening to/obsessed with at the moment:

The Black Lips: Good Bad Not Evil
Gangi: A
Cat Power: Jukebox
Flogging Molly: Float
DJ Shadow: Endtroducing...
Ratatat: Classics

I suggest you pick up these smooth sounds today.

Let's Take a Vote

2008-03-09T14:06:00.009-04:00

I'm going to apply to grad schools for the fall of '09. But in the meantime, I want do something interesting with my year off. (By "something interesting," I mean move somewhere new.) I think the West Coast is calling my name.

Show of hands. If I can't figure out my future, maybe you guys can.

Should I move to:

A. Seattle?

B. Portland?

C. San Francisco?

D. Somewhere abroad? Somewhere in Europe?

E. Teach English in Korea or Vietnam or Japan?

F. A cabin in the middle of nowhere?

2008-03-07T17:51:00.003-05:00

Why don't guys ask girls out these days? I mean, girl power and all that, but the whole feminist movement of the sixties is taking its toll on the women of today. Are gender roles so reversed that the girls have to do the askin' now? 'Cause, I mean, I will if I have to, but I think the whole lack of dates thing is hurting my confidence. Am I scary? Threatening? Intimidating? Repulsive? Tell me. I can take it.

Got a Devil's Haircut

2008-03-07T17:40:00.003-05:00

Yes, yes. We all know that pictures taken with iPhoto are always cheesy. Or maybe it's just my pictures from iPhoto. "Irregardless," here's a picture of my new haircut. This was taken right after I got back from the salon, though, so the accuracy of the photo varies on a day-to-day basis according to how much effort I want to put into the stylin'.

P.S. I will only accept compliments of said haircut. Comments lamenting the passing of my long hair will be swiftly discarded. Peace.

Hiatus Schmiatus

2008-01-03T11:40:00.000-05:00

I was pondering the old saying "When God closes a door, he opens a window" (said in the essential southern drawl) whilst eating my morning oatmeal, and I think that that saying is, quite possibly, one of the worst in the English language. I came up with a few "what-if" questions. Mmm, what-if questions--my favorite. Here are my points:

A window is far less convenient to pass through than a door.
What if the window is on the fourth floor? What if, in flying out the window, you plummet and fall on your face?
What if the window is just cleaned really well and only looks open, and you run head-first into a closed window like a bird?
What if the house was on fire?
What if the window had rose and holly bushes below it?
What if you're just really stubborn and don't want to take the window?
What if the house is really warm and cozy and baby, it's cold outside?
What if you have social anxiety disorder and can't persuade yourself to uncurl from the fetal position and crawl towards the window?
What if the window is only cracked enough for your head to fit through and then your upper body gets stuck?
What if God wants you to open the window yourself?

Happy 2008, my friends!

2008-01-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking my blog -- Get Off Your Duff, April Birds and May Bees, or whatever title you prefer -- might be on its way out. I'm trying to decide if it's time to retire the URL, or if I should just consider taking a hiatus until I have something interesting to say.

It's going to be a year of big change for a lot of us, I think. I will officially graduate with an undergrad degree in May -- an end of an era, no doubt. I'm hoping to go to grad school in the fall somewhere abroad. We'll see how that pans out. I've got an interview tomorrow for a position at a preschool teaching 3-year-olds. (I'm super nervous about the interview. I really want this job.) I could potentially start a new job and a new semester next Monday.

I love change. I get really nervous about it but, man, I love trying new things. I've decided that I'm going to try to make this my most productive, life-changing year yet. And I'm off to a good start already.

I hope you all have an amazing and productive 2008. What are you planning for this year?

Fell in Love Yesterday

2007-12-04T10:36:00.001-05:00

...with some dude named Kirk -- sight unseen. Here's how it went down:

I was in the New South office (where I do my internship), working on a history paper that's due today. I pulled up my iTunes, and somebody named Kirk's shared library came up ('cause we were on the same network). I began to peruse Kirk's library, and I was struck as if by cupid. Air? Album Leaf? Avett Brothers? Aloha? Belle and Sebastian?

I was in love.

Dude was in the English department with an iTunes library chock-full o' the good stuff.

I listened to two hours worth of his library -- Cat Power, Panda Bear, The Beatles' White Album -- while searching online for any leads as to the identity of the owner. (To be clear, I didn't search for him for two hours. I wrote my paper, and listened to his library for two hours. I googled and facebooked him, to no avail, for about 1o minutes.)

My only concern is that about 1/3 of Kirk's library was filled with Elliott Smith. Now, I like Elliott as much as the next girl, but to be an English aficionado AND be obsessed with Mr. Smith? Sounds like manic depression to me.

It's that time of year again...

2007-12-04T10:35:00.000-05:00

Finals! Soo... you guessed it -- new blog posts!

Also.

2007-11-04T19:44:00.000-05:00

You know how in The Tell-Tale Heart the dude goes nuts from hearing the beating heart of the guy he killed and stuffed under the floorboards?

So I'm not guilty of murder or anything, but I understand the encroaching insanity of hearing a noise over and over. The power went out in our neighborhood yesterday at about six o'clock, and ever since the power came back on, an alarm in one of the warehouses across the railroad tracks has been going off every 15 seconds. Alarm. Pause. Alarm. Pause.

I have a geography exam tomorrow, and I'm trying to listen to music instead of the alarm while I'm studying, but every couple of hours, I get really super pissed. Blood-boiling-insanity-inducing-screaming-in-a-low-guttural-injured-animal
-voice-with-a-red-face pissed.

Deja Vu, All Over Again.

2007-11-04T19:16:00.000-05:00

Isn't deja vu the weirdest thing ever? I mean, what IS it?

I was just reading wikipedia's entry about triple rifts (in geography), specifically the one in the U.S. named the Midcontinent Rift System or the Keweenawan Rift which, I assure you, I have never read about before -- not in this life, anyway -- and I could remember everything. I remembered the picture of the cliffs, the smell of the candles burning (lavender) on my nightstand, and the song that was playing on my stereo.

I know there are a lot of theories on what deja vu actually is, but what do you think? I think your brain synapses get a little confused or something. Or maybe you can view your entire life before you're born like it's a movie, and you remember little glimpses of it when you're living it. But why, oh why, would I remember reading about the triple rift?

Unless -- the triple rift opens in our lifetime and swallows us whole. Yikes.

More Pictures O' Franklin

2007-10-29T17:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know I sound like one of those obnoxious people who think their dog is their child, but c'mon, how cute is this guy?

C'mon. How cute?

Will Someone Please Read My Blog?

2007-10-10T23:58:00.000-04:00

The world wide web has left me feeling very lonely and vulnerable lately. Exposed and empty.

Helllllooo? (Echo.) Hello! (Echo.) Helllo-ooo? (Nothing.)

2007-10-10T09:29:00.000-04:00

I saw a sign yesterday that said:

2 Days in Iraq = Healthcare for 163,525 Americans.

Sobering, huh?

White Teeth, or Hey! That's MY Life!

2007-10-04T09:04:00.001-04:00

Do you ever feel like somebody else is living your dream life? I mean, you can see them -- right there -- with their cute kids and dog and husband, or cute haircut, clothes, and shoes that no one would really wear, really.

Zadie Smith is living my dream life. I wonder if it's all as glamorous -- or, as she would spell it, glamourous -- as it is in my head. Zadie wrote the book I wanted to write -- White Teeth. Granted, I had no idea before I started reading it, that I wanted to write it, but that's irrelevant.

Maybe it's the fact that she wrote White Teeth while she was still in school at Cambridge, for crying out loud. She was 24 when she wrote it. 24. I'm 25 and counting. Or maybe it's the fact that she's a beautiful Erykah Badu lookalike.

(L) Zadie Smith (R) Erykah Badu

(Maybe it's just the headwrap thing that makes them look alike?)

Or maybe it's that Zadie Smith's married to a Northern Irish poet. Named Nick Laird. C'mon, Lauren Laird? Has a nice ring to it, eh? I mean, he could be a really bad poet, but for the sake of the argument, I'm guessing he's the next Seamus Heaney.

Or maybe it's that she's British/Jamaican. And writes perfect British and/or Jamaican accents.

Or maybe it's that she can pull off the headwrap thing. Those things are just so cool.

I'm not jealous. Really. It's just weird that if I picked a dream life, hers would be it. I know when you're actually living that life, there are always things that aren't so rosy.

My life's a good one. And I don't want to trade it for any one else's. But I wonder if I got a little more tan if I could pull off a headwrap? What do you think? (I think I'd probably look like an orthodox Jewish lady or a cancer patient.)

My Friend* is on the Radio!

2007-08-28T09:45:00.000-04:00

Today I was driving along in my automobile, listening to Georgia State's radio (88.5), and I heard Luke Temple on the radio! As many of you know, I've been a fan of Luke's for a while -- I've referenced him on my blog several times.

*Okay, so he's not exactly a friend of mine, but he is an acquaintance, a friend-of-a-friend; we know a lot of the same people. In the world of up-and-coming famous people, he counts as a friend by proxy, and because of the fact that I've been listening to his stuff since he released his EP a few years ago. So friend, he is.

Then, later on yesterday afternoon, I checked to see what Daytrotter was up to, and... you guessed it -- Luke's the topic of conversation. Check it out. (There are free downloads.)

He has a new album out that I haven't heard in entirety yet. But the songs I've heard are pretty unique (which is always a welcome quality these days, right?).

Meet Franklin!

2007-08-25T13:16:00.001-04:00

About a week ago, I saw this picture on craigslist. This guy was scheduled to be put down last Friday.

And here he is today, laying on our couch.

Supposedly, he's a mastiff/catahoula mix, but the vet thinks he's got some basset hound thrown in there, too. I think he's like one of those inkblots where you see what you want to see. He's about 2 years old -- fully grown -- and 63.5 pounds (of muscle). I know I'm biased, but he is super smart and affectionate. He thinks he's a lap-dog.

But here's the not-so-great part of the story: He has heartworms. Heartworms that cost over $550 to treat. I'm consoling myself with the fact that a purebred dog would have cost this much to buy, and that I did a good thing by saving the little guy, but I don't exactly have $550 lying around to use on his treatment.

Which brings me to -- you know what's coming -- the introduction of the Save Franklin Fund. I know it's crappy of me to write a post that asks you for money. I know that. And I know that it's my responsibility to take care of the animal that I adopted. I know, I know. But if you can spare the $3 that buys you a cappuccino one day and instead write me a check, we'd really appreciate it. Just think about it.

Photos!!!

2007-08-19T23:33:00.000-04:00

Here are the photos of my new apartment. See? There is tons of space, so come visit!

I didn't take any photos of the bathroom, but it's tremengigunorm (tremendous/gigantic/enormous). Shower. Separate garden tub. Two sinks. A washer and dryer. It's niiiice.

2007-08-16T12:21:00.000-04:00

I should have added in that last post:

You're all invited to my new apartment/neighborhood! Come visit me!

West Side

2007-08-11T10:03:00.000-04:00

So as I mentioned in my last post, and as many of you know from talking with me, I've moved to a different part of Atlanta. Yep, Sara and I have parted (domestic) ways -- I think we're talking more now that I've moved out, eh Sara? :)

This move had nothing to do with anything, really. I just needed a change of scenery and I needed to feel like I was living in a city again instead of the suburbs. I'm closer to school -- I can walk or ride my bike (when I get a bike -- anybody have an old one I can buy?). I'm right off of I-20, so it's a much quicker drive to my parents' house or Carrollton, which is nice. And, one of the best parts? I'm now ShanKo's neighbor!

I'm really stoked to be living in this apartment. I brag about it and want to show it to everybody. My roommate is an architecture student at Georgia Tech that is actually living in Brooklyn this summer. She'll get back around the 18th.

I'll post pictures as soon as I find the blasted cable to attach my camera to my computer.

Until then, here's the Castleberry Hill website in case you want to know more about the area.

Subvert!, or I Want to be a Locomotive Engineer

2007-08-09T10:47:00.001-04:00

I'm looking out my bedroom window at five railroad tracks -- five highly trafficked railroad tracks. My new apartment overlooks the tracks, and over the last couple of days of being here, I've realized two things:

1. I want to be a locomotive engineer.

Unfortunately, after extensively researching (i.e. googling) the profession of locomotive engineer, I've realized that I'm not qualified. You have to have tons of experience in the other professions with the railroad. Like what, you ask? Like "rail yard engineers," "railroad conductors," "railroad brake operators," or "hostlers." Plus, to be a locomotive engineer, as the title implies, you have to have comprehensive knowledge of the mechanics of the engine itself. Rules me out COMPLETELY, as I don't even know how a car engine works.

Basically, I just wanted to leisurely ride throughout the continental U.S. and Canada on the "backroads," so to speak. I mean, you see some really cool areas by railroad. I know because I took Amtrak from NYC to outside of Philadelphia one time. I've also thought about being a trucker, but interstates are no fun, and there's a certain stigma that goes along with being a lady trucker, I think.

2. Graffiti is a form of high art.

I've watched train after train go by (It's better than television.) and on the last one, a Union Pacific carrying scrap metal, I saw some of the most amazing graffiti I've ever seen. And I've lived in the Lower East Side. (Okay, technically I lived in the East Village, but the LES sounds cooler and more hardcore.) I'm not talking tags -- I'm talking complete Japanimation characters or other caricatures, and beautiful, colorful word art -- DIVE, BASHAROK, and my favorite: SUBVERT!

Subvert. What an amazing word to use in graffiti. So relevant. So... poetic.

Now, I'm not advocating vandalism. But is it really vandalism when it's beautiful, or when it says something meaningful, or when it makes a girl's day by watching it pass by?

This reminds me of a street artist (although he uses chalk or tape a lot of the time) in Manhattan that I loved. He goes by De La Vega (his name is James De La Vega) and he writes inspiring (if not a little cheesy) messages like, "Become Your Dream," or "The Game of Capitalism Breeds Dishonest Men," or "Remember, the Devil was Once a Beautiful Angel," or my personal favorite "Be Mindful Even When the Mind is Full."

I've totally strayed from the original topic(s) at hand. What was my thesis?

Point is, I love trains -- even at 2AM when they're blowing their whistles. It's in the blood, I guess. My great-grandfather worked for Southern Railways most of his life.

And I love graffiti.

And I'm in a place where I can enjoy both. Life is good, my friends.

I'm Turning Into My Mother

2007-07-26T19:58:00.000-04:00

I looked down at my plate at lunch, and I realized that I had mixed all of the vegetables together just like my mom does. Thing is, I always comment on how disgusting that is when she does it, and lookie there, I'm doing the same thing, and I like it.

Which brings me to the real topic of this post -- I've decided to go vegetarian for a while. I'm doing it to see how my body responds to the absence of meat, and because I just hit this point where meat kind of grosses me out. I didn't decide to go vegetarian on moral grounds, but geez, think of all the hormones we're consuming. Blech. (Notice that I don't refer to myself directly as a vegetarian -- I'm only eating like a vegetarian. I don't consider myself one. It's not an identity thing for me. It's just a diet.)

So today I've been on vegetarian diet for a whole week. I'm really liking it so far. Stay tuned, as I'm sure you'll be on the edge of your seat to see how this thing pans out.

Canada, the New Seattle

2007-07-03T11:44:00.000-04:00

There's an amazing sound coming out of Canada these days -- a psychedelic, eerie echo, a haunting reverberation that seems simultaneously familiar and new.

I give you:

The Besnard Lakes
Arcade Fire
Patrick Watson
The Dears
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Wolf Parade
Broken Social Scene
Handsome Furs
Jets Overhead
The New Pornographers
Shapes and Sizes
Sunset Rubdown
Tokyo Police Club
The Weakerthans

I know that' s a lot of bands and links and that you will maybe click on about 2 of them. But I just think it's interesting that these bands all seem to have a unique sound quality to their music. I think the majority of these bands record in a tin-can or something. There's a muffled, undefined, blurry, echoing quality. (Anybody out there a sound engineer? I'd like to know specifics.) I love it.

And, too, I think most of these bands have mastered the art of the minor chord. It's such introspective, cloudy music. It feels like Seattle or Vancouver -- overcast, cozy, muffled. (But, then, I've never been to Eastern Canada. It could feel like Montreal or Toronto, too.)

Check 'em out. If you only click on a couple of links, I suggest the first and third bands. And the second. And the sixth, seventh, and eighth. . .

Charlie Chaplin

2007-06-21T10:55:00.000-04:00

I ran across this clip from Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator, and I wanted to share it with you guys. It's not funny -- I'll warn you. But it's proof that truth can be found anywhere and everywhere.

Most Problematic Phrase EVER

2007-06-14T12:16:00.000-04:00

"As life becomes increasingly complex. . . "

I'm curious -- raise of hands, here -- how many of you actually believe that life has become increasingly complex? Huh? What does that even mean?

Seems to me, nowadays we have this sense of superiority that our lifetime is the most difficult one ever lived. Why do we think that?

A friend of mine said the other day that most races feel that their history of hardships was most difficult and that every other race's difficulties were nothing compared to theirs. I agree, although I know, in the grand scheme of things, "my people" have had it relatively good.

Point is, I think the same goes for generations. I mean, does our generation really have it that bad? Is life really more complex now than it was for the Lost Generation when everything they thought they knew was turned upside-down? Or is life more complex now than it was during, say, British rule in Ireland in the 1600s? Or is it more complex now than when people had to actually kill or gather their own food, when daily life was a struggle just to survive?

Why do we think we're so above every other generation? Why do we think our life is more complex? I'm telling you now, doomsdayers and naysayers (not that you, the reader are either of those things), we've got it good. Really good. And even if life is more "complex" now, it's good complex -- it's a complexity brought on from countless possibilities and opportunities.

No Matter How "Cool" It Is, I Will Never. . .

2007-06-10T15:29:00.000-04:00

Wear Crocs
Listen to Emo
Become obsessed with 24 or Lost
Like the Mets
Live in a huge house in a subdivision
Eat monkfish

2007-06-09T22:53:00.000-04:00

Listening to Nick Drake on a warm, quiet (and lonely) summer night is just not a good idea. Makes me feel that if I survive this part of my life intact, all the rest of it will be a breeze.

So I put the iPod on shuffle: Bob Marley's "Waiting in Vain." Great.

But oddly enough, I'm grateful. For what, I can't put my finger on. I've got a weird, calm peace. Maybe it originates from the knowledge of self that comes from being alone? Or a contentment with the belief that I'm on a good and exciting path? Who knows? Not me. I'm too close to the forest to see the trees.

Proof's in the Puddin'

2007-06-04T16:35:00.001-04:00

Some of you have asked for pictures of Parker and Melanie's wedding. Here are some of the proofs from the photographer's website. (So illegal...)

The Girls:

The Boys:

Our family:

The Flowergirls, the Ring-Bearer, and me:

The Happy Couple:

Both families:

The Folks:

Married!:

Leaving the Reception:

Oh, please. Oh, please.

2007-05-31T16:06:00.000-04:00

This is what I wrote as my appeal to the parking ticket I got in NYC this weekend.

"After arriving in New York City after a 14-hour drive to spend massive amounts of tourist dollars, we parked our exhausted car and bodies in, what appears to have been, a space for Sanitation Dept. vehicles only. After viewing the signs, we all were under the impression that the car was parked in a legal space, though we were a bit confused by the seemingly incongruous signs that we were parked between. After being assured by a local that the parking space that we had chosen was indeed a safe one, we unloaded our luggage and began the 6-floor hike up to the apartment in which we were staying. Upon making the second trip to the car for various and sundry items which we didn't get in the first trek up the (unair-conditioned and steamy) stairs, we discovered the ominous orange ticket under the windshield wiper. We promptly moved the car to another street, where it remained throughout the rest of our visit to the most wonderful city on earth, unticketed and safe.

In conclusion, I'd like to ask, beg, beseech you to consider waiving or decreasing the fine of $95 that is the current balance of the parking ticket. Thank you for your understanding and enjoy your day."

I hope they don't think I'm being a sarcastic, pompous jackass. But I kind of am.

I Hate You, Magic 8 Ball.

2007-05-30T13:01:00.000-04:00

Q #1: Should I date Guy #1?
A #1: My sources say no.

Q #2: Should I date Guy #2?
A #2: Answer hazy. Try again.

Q #3: Will I be single forever?
A #3: It is certain.

James Iha Sighting #4089

2007-05-30T11:50:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday morning, I awoke as if it would be a normal, uneventful day. At approximately 1 PM that afternoon, the thought occurred to me that perhaps I could make a trip up to New York that weekend. Upon discovering that airline tickets were over $500, I decided to drive.

At 10:30 PM, Mrs. Snow, Jacki, and I hit the road. 14 hours later, we were driving through the Holland Tunnel into New York City.

It was a whirlwind, crazy trip. But maybe one of the best that I've had to New York since the Pratt trip of 2001. (Sidenote: Ironically, on paper, the Pratt trip would seem to be one of the worst ever. Stomach problems on the flight up, nastiest bathroom I have ever stepped [sandaled] foot in, getting soaked by the torrential downpour before our flight back...)

What made this trip one of the best ones? There is nothing I can put my finger on that made it spectacular, except that I had no expectations going into it -- no ambitious goals to meet up with everyone that I know that lives there, no list of things to see, no list of things to buy. It made the trip more laidback and less hurried.

And it wouldn't be a trip to New York without me seeing James Iha, which I did, on the corner of 10th and 2nd.

In 2.5 Days...

2007-05-16T21:20:00.000-04:00

my little brother will be married! So weird.

Let the flurry of activities begin.

We're all packing right now, and I have no idea what all to bring. My mad Mary Poppin packing skills will come in handy here, I think.

Pictures will be posted. Stay tuned.

Here's their website, in case you wanna check it out: www.melanieandparker.com

2007-05-10T16:31:00.001-04:00

Why, oh why, am I singing "Holla Back Girl"? Darn that Gwen Stefani and her catchy tunes.

Wallow in it.

2007-05-05T20:28:00.000-04:00

Warning: If you have a tendency toward depression, you should probably NOT read this post.

Somebody told me once, "Oh, yeah. You're one of those people that listens to really sad songs." I took offense to that. "No way," I said. "I like a lot of fast, rockin' songs. Uh-uh. I don't just listen to sad songs."

I give you: The 25 Most Exquisitely Sad Songs in the Whole World

I have 9 of the 25 on my iPod which, I think, is a pretty high percentage. On top of that, I've listened to three of those today alone. (Which ones, you ask? See if you can guess.) So maybe I am one of those people that listens to really sad songs. Huh.

I would like to add a few to Spinner.com's list, though:

Joni Mitchell: River ("Wish I had a river I could skate away on.")
The Smiths: Please, Please, Please ("Please, please, please, let me get what I want. Lord knows, it would be the first time.")
Aqualung: Good Times Gonna Come ("This is just one of those lonely nights. Good times gonna come.")
Bill Withers: Ain't No Sunshine ("Wonder this time where she's gone. Wonder if she's gone to stay.")
Wolf Parade: Modern World ("Modern world I'm not pleased to meet you. You just bring me down.")
Weezer: Butterfly ("I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.")
Sufjan Stevens: Casimir Pulaski Day ("In the morning when you finally go, and the nurse runs in with her head hung low, and the cardinal hits the window.")
Simon and Garfunkel: Sound of Silence ("Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again.")
Death Cab for Cutie: What Sarah Said ("Love is watching someone die.")
Billie Holiday, Roberta Flack, or any rendition of: Smoke Gets In Your Eyes ("Oh, so I smile and say, 'When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes.'")
The Clash: Lost in the Supermarket ("I'm all lost in the supermarket. I can no longer shop happily. I came in here for the special offer: Guaranteed Personality.")
Damien Rice: Volcano ("You give me miles and miles of mountains, and I ask for the sea.")
The Decemberists: Clementine ("And we'll find us a home built of packaging foam that will be there 'til after we die.")
Anything by Elliot Smith ("Got a broken heart and your name on my cast. And everybody's gone at last.")
The Beatles: Blackbird ("Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly.")
Any Rendition of Cat's in the Cradle ("When you comin' home dad? I don't know when, but we can get together then.")
Leadbelly or Nirvana: Where Did You Sleep Last Night? ("In the pines, in the pines, where the sun don't ever shine, I'll shiver the whole night through.")
Nirvana: Something in the Way ("Something in the way. Ummmmm.")

Okay, my list grew from "a few" to several. What songs would you add?

Ante Up.

2007-05-05T11:38:00.000-04:00

I'm concerned about the severe lack of comments these days. What's the deal? What happened to the intelligent and thoughtful discussions in the comment section? Is it me? Are my posts not intellectually stimulating any more? Is it you? Are you brain-dead? Busy? Not reading my posts?

What happened to the "31 comments" days? Huh?

Who IS This Person I've Become?

2007-05-04T17:23:00.000-04:00

I looked in the mirror a couple of days ago, and was a little shocked -- for a split second -- to not recognize my own face. I had colored my hair a little darker, I was tan (for me, anyway), and I was wearing (fake) diamond stud earrings (which I never wear). Has that ever happened to you? It was a weird shock to the system.

And today? I am currently wearing 4 1/2 inch heels to do housework.

Also, the jeans I am wearing are skin tight.

Let me explain: I'm trying to break in the shoes I'm wearing for the wedding in a couple of weeks. I have never worn heels this high or skinny. They're strappy, too, so I have to work on my balance. And the jeans? I bought shorts the other day that were size 6. They fit, so I bought a pair of jeans that are size 6 without trying them on. They don't fit. If I lose the 5 more lbs. that I have left to lose, I'll fit into them. But I thought maybe if I wore them enough, they'd get looser and I could wear them. (Because right now, I have no jeans that fit me. I'm between an 8 and a 6, apparently.)

I feel like one of those crazy housewives from the 50s that wore heels while vacuuming.

(Remember this picture?)

UPDATE: After reading this post the next day, I realize that the whole size discourse could be misconstrued as boastful or bragging. But you know what? Maybe it's not misconstruing 'cause, dang it, I'm proud. I have NEVER fit into a 6. EVER. I went from a girls' size 14 to a juniors' 9 in SEVENTH GRADE. And don't worry, I'm not becoming this shallow person. But it feels good to have a healthy self-image for once.

Arcade Fire on FI-YAH!

2007-05-02T17:10:00.000-04:00

The Arcade Fire show last night was AMAZING. And I don't even know any of the songs from their new album, Neon Bible.

Sooo good that photos were not taken. So good that even I moved more than my noggin. So good that I would've paid face value for the tickets if I had to. (But I didn't. Ebay, my friend.)

Lexia, you should fly to L.A. near the end of the month. Electrelane is opening for them there.

I. Can't. Breathe.

2007-04-24T15:18:00.000-04:00

Stress. Crushing. Lungs.

(Okay, I'm exaggerating. But I will be glad when Thursday has come and gone.)

One Paper Down.

2007-04-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

One more to go.

In the meantime, I think I'll clean my room. I don't think it's been this messy the whole time I've lived here.

But right now? I'm going to veg out.

Paper's Due Tomorrow

2007-04-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

Have y'all heard of Spacelab Radio? It's pretty good, for you indie folks out there. And free.

Also, I have a new found love for Daytrotter. (Since I started writing my papers.)

Stinky Girl(s) in 516

2007-04-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

Sara woke up this morning and discovered that we didn't have running water. She called the office and they said they were working on it -- that the whole complex was without water.

That was 8:15 AM. It is now 12:19 PM, and we still don't have water. I couldn't go to Spanish this morning, and now it looks like I won't be going to my 1:30 Jane Austen class.

I could rough it and go unshowered. But, um, I didn't shower yesterday. (I was reading all day -- what's the point?) So that's out of the question.

So I'm taking it as a god-send and working on my paper.

Ticking Away the Moments that Make Up a Dull Day

2007-04-15T22:41:00.000-04:00

I just finished a really amazing book by Don DeLillo (Mao II). I spent most of the day reading it. It's a really "postmodern" book -- and it's written in a semi stream of consciousness style. It addresses the idea of time quite a bit. (What postmodern book doesn't, right?) So I've been thinking about time today -- how I measure it, its relevance, time as an abstraction.

And I've realized that I hate the idea of time more than I hate the idea of money. Quickly lapsing time or slowly moving time makes me feel more miserable than quickly vanishing money or money that's burning a hole in my pocket. A lack of time is worse than a lack of money.

So why is that? I think it's because you can always acquire money, or at least have the hope of acquiring money. But time equals life, and when we lose even a second, we lose life.

Time is an abstraction I could live without. Because I wanted my cozy, gray Sunday to last forever. Really. I wanted that book to last forever.

And I really didn't want to think about the Jane Austen paper I have to write.

What say you?

(Interesting. Time and Money. Two songs on Dark Side of the Moon. Deep man. Real deep.)

2007-04-15T00:03:00.000-04:00

What? Prince William and his girlfriend broke up, you say?

Girls the world over swoon. (Myself included? Nahhh.)

I Am The Turnip

2007-04-13T20:37:00.000-04:00

I could not possibly be less inspired to write my Jane Austen paper.

I've been staring at an almost completely blank Word document for approximately three hours. Like squeezing blood from a turnip, or however the saying goes.

Chasing Life

2007-04-12T16:45:00.000-04:00

My awesome former roommate, a one Miss Marshall, sent me a present in the mail and I got it today.

For those of you that are not aware, I have a great respect (and little crush) for Sanjay Gupta, a neurosurgeon and CNN health correspondent. He teaches and practices here in Atlanta.

So Dr. Gupta was in the CNN office in New York yesterday, and Kelly got him to sign a copy of his new book for me. Nice, huh? I'm pretty excited. Here's the link for his new book, Chasing Life. And here's what he wrote:

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

2007-04-12T13:47:00.000-04:00

I know the blogging world is blowing up with news of Kurt Vonnegut's death, but I can't not mention it.

"If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:

THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC."

-- Vonnegut's Blues For America 07 January, 2006

Mmm, Burned Flesh.

2007-04-11T21:34:00.000-04:00

I went to the tanning bed today, and I'm crispy.

No, I don't believe in tanning beds. And yes, I am far too Scotch-Irish to tan. I felt really guilty. Like I should be smoking five cigarettes at a time since I was scorching the outside of my body. Might as well scorch the inside too, eh?

Next up? Plastic surgery! (Totally kidding.)

Best Lyrics Ever Written?

2007-04-07T17:09:00.000-04:00

"What’s up directors? Grab your knives!
It’s time to take all of the lives
Of the people who cannot see the somnolent genius of Tarkovsky

Come on authors grab your guns!
It’s time to murder everyone who has never heard of Apollinaire
Send them all to hell it’s only fair

Cast them all into the flames if they don’t know any names
Of the principles of Arte Povera
Or are unfamiliar with le serpent mascara
(That’s right mascara snake.)

Come on painters alive or dead
Give all the cretins a boot to the head
If they don’t extoll convincingly
Tempered Elan era Kandinsky

Throw them all into a well if they cannot tell
An Arto Parv feast of repetition from a Schoenburg 12 tone composition

Come on artists the day is here
And your mission is very clear
Put an end to the bourgeoisie
And death to everyone who’s never heard of me"

-- Of Montreal's "Art Snob Solution*"

I absolutely LOVE the sarcasm here. And, no, I don't know half of the names they mention. But that's the point, right? I'm not an Art Snob.

* I dedicate this song to all of my favorite English majors at GSU and a couple of other folks out there in the blogosphere.

Wha?!?

2007-04-07T13:51:00.000-04:00

Why is it 34 degrees in Atlanta in April?

2007-04-07T12:18:00.000-04:00

For the first time since I got my license when I turned 16, the weight listed on my license is correct.

I Had a Dream

2007-04-06T08:34:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night that I was trying to convince Lil' Kim that racism is a two-way street and that we should all just get along.

True to the Stereotype: Mary Kay Would Be Proud

2007-04-03T19:23:00.000-04:00

It's a nice night. I have my windows and sliding doors open to let in the breeze and to hear the thunder somewhere off in the distance.

But the breeze isn't all that's blowing in. On the porch below ours, there are three or four women smoking and talking about guns. (I kid you not. The word "glock" was mentioned.)

Another girl walks in from the parking lot, obviously looking confused.

"You here for the Mary Kay party?"

"Yeah, how do I get down there?"

"You just foller them steps back there -- all the way back -- and turn a right."

Androgynous?

2007-03-31T18:05:00.000-04:00

I had a friend tell me the other day that I have an androgynous face. She meant it in the best possible way; it was definitely supposed to be taken as a compliment. But, huh.

Judge for yourself. Do I have a unisex face?

Okay, I was kidding with that last picture. Here's a fairly serious one, although I feel completely odd taking pictures of myself with my MacBook. For the sake of the argument, I pulled my hair back. I guess I can kind of see it...

Don't think I have a complex now or anything. I don't care, really. I mean, Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who's on a new show on Showtime, by the way) has an androgynous face, and he is Be-a-u-ti-ful.

See? I'm totally procrastinating. I should be writing my papers.

Excessive Blog Posts...

2007-03-31T17:34:00.000-04:00

and newly uploaded photos can only mean one thing:

It's paper-writing time, again!

In unrelated news, I have now officially lost 20 pounds.

The Next 8 Months of My Life are Planned Out

2007-03-29T17:15:00.000-04:00

Now, don't get excited or nervous about the title of this post. There is no underlining, hidden meaning. I will not be locked up in a cabin in the woods somewhere for the next eight months, so don't get any ideas.

I just mean that I registered today for my Fall semester. Which means I am registered to go to school for the next eight months straight. Usually, I get excited about registering for the next semester. But I usually have a break -- Summer or Christmas -- in between. I haven't even started the Summer semester and I'm already locked in for Fall.

I mean, that's good. It's good that I'm going to school. It's good that after I finish the next two semesters that I've already registered for, I'll only have one more (relatively easy) semester to go before I graduate. But, man, knowing for sure what you HAVE to do for the next 8 months is a little stifling. A little suffocating. Hope I don't fly the coop.

FYI: My Fall semester is filled with all of the left-over core classes I have to take -- a science lab and a history class. Yuck. I think that's part of the problem. But when I get these out of the way, it'll be smoooooth sailin'.

(Also, I would just like to add that this picture was taken in a park in Dublin. Not by me. By a professional photographer.)