Hey! This is 102nd post! I've hit the 100 mark.
I have to turn in my "First Scene" for my short story tomorrow. I just wrote it. Tell me what you think. Even if it's later on in the week. I just want to hear some feedback.
Here goes:
“The neighbors are quiet,” the realtor had joked. And indeed, in the thirty years that they had lived there, they had never had a problem with the neighbors. Mostly this was because they were all dead. The farmhouse was on about fifty acres and across the street was the largest cemetery in the county.
“Aw shoot, Edna. Why you save all them nasty, old plastic flowers for? They take up too much room in my shed,” her husband Ray always exclaimed. She usually just ignored him and continued humming her hymns. The flowers often blew into her front yard. After thunderstorms, Edna went into the yard and collected the bounty. Some people would have called the flowers litter, but Edna knew they were gifts from God, sent to give her life purpose.
That's it. I mean, it's a short story. But what do you think? Do you want to know more? What questions are in your mind? Are you confused about anything so far? (I know it's hard to know since you haven't read the whole story.)
I'm thankful for: Foggy winter nights and a fire in the fireplace. I love it.
Here goes:
“The neighbors are quiet,” the realtor had joked. And indeed, in the thirty years that they had lived there, they had never had a problem with the neighbors. Mostly this was because they were all dead. The farmhouse was on about fifty acres and across the street was the largest cemetery in the county.
“Aw shoot, Edna. Why you save all them nasty, old plastic flowers for? They take up too much room in my shed,” her husband Ray always exclaimed. She usually just ignored him and continued humming her hymns. The flowers often blew into her front yard. After thunderstorms, Edna went into the yard and collected the bounty. Some people would have called the flowers litter, but Edna knew they were gifts from God, sent to give her life purpose.
That's it. I mean, it's a short story. But what do you think? Do you want to know more? What questions are in your mind? Are you confused about anything so far? (I know it's hard to know since you haven't read the whole story.)
I'm thankful for: Foggy winter nights and a fire in the fireplace. I love it.
posted by Lauren | 8:52 PM
4 Comments:
E-mail in lieu of post again. I like this post. I do want to know more. It's actually got a gothic feel to it, like "Fall of the House of Usher" meets "Dandelion Wine." It's almost suspended somewhere between magical realism and the more normal, more mundane sort of fiction.
It's GREAT! The only thing I would change is one word: exclaimed. I would writed that "Ray always complained."
That's it. We had SUCH a good day today! I will never forget this weekend EVER!
Yeah. "Complained" is better than "exclaimed." You're right.
Thanks guys! I appreciate it!
My professor didn't like it.
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