Glasgow Kiss*

So it's official. I've accepted a job as an au pair (live-in nanny) in Glasgow, Scotland. I leave on September 1st and come back on December 22. I'm so excited!

The boy is 3, and the little girl is 15 months old. The family lives near the city center (or centre, rather). The mom is a classical violinist, and the dad is a BBC producer. Can't wait to meet 'em!

* A Glasgow Kiss is a headbutt, something I hope I don't experience while I'm there.

God Bless the Government

4.21% APR on Federal Student Loans?

Awesome.

Bet you thought I was being sarcastic with the title of this post, huh? I wasn't.

And Another.

There’s a chair
against the wall
with a Post-It note
on it that says:

About
to
Break.

I’m not so different
from that chair --
legs buckling
beneath me.

Another Mediocre Poem from a Fiction Writer, Entitled:

Proof That I Analyze Everything, or
Being Crushed Ain’t That Bad, or
I Land in Random Places

“People get crushed like biscuit crumbs.”
-- Thom Yorke, “Black Swan”

In England – Great Britain – the UK – what-have-you –
they call cookies “biscuits.”

And so, if people get crushed like biscuit – cookie – crumbs,
that’s not so devastating an analogy.

See,
the smaller the crumb,
and the larger the object that’s doing the crushing,
the less destructive the impact.

And we’re all peons.

Picture this:
A grain of sugar -- crushed -- by an elephant’s foot.

The grain of sugar will be the same shape and size
pre- and post-
impact.
It won’t be pulverized.
It’ll still be a decahedron.

When I get crushed,
I shoot out
from under the elephant’s foot
like a BB.
Land in random places –
On the sunny windowsill,
In the folds of my grandmother’s quilt,
Or exposed,
between the tiles
of the bathroom floor –

‘Til I’m crushed again.