Why don't guys ask girls out these days? I mean, girl power and all that, but the whole feminist movement of the sixties is taking its toll on the women of today. Are gender roles so reversed that the girls have to do the askin' now? 'Cause, I mean, I will if I have to, but I think the whole lack of dates thing is hurting my confidence. Am I scary? Threatening? Intimidating? Repulsive? Tell me. I can take it.
posted by Lauren | 5:51 PM
7 Comments:
I don't think you're any of those things, especially with the great new haircut (looking good!). Society has just changed so much that guys are able to be stuck in their adolescence for much longer and don't feel the need to do anything about it. It's not your fault.
Well, Lauren, I was thinking about this just yesterday. I believe the problem is that gender rolls have changed too much and from a guys perspective it is harder to just go up and ask a girl out. Girls don't always give the clear signs that they are interested (i.e. guys are oblivious to subtlety). Plus, being surrounded by friends is intimidating because no guy wants to be rejected, especially not in front of a crowd. Also, asking a complete stranger out is very awkward. Anyway, it is definitely not you, most times it's the scenario and modern thinking.
Barry
I agree with Casey 100%. Actually, the average age of adulthood (i.e., financial independence) is 26. It might be higher now, and I would wager that the average is higher for men. As a result, our society is full of twenty-something drifters who can't or won't grow up. So you end up with guys who sit around playing video games all day . . .
As for Barry's comment, I'll say that yes, it's difficult to ask someone out. I know -- I've done it! It was scary, yet oddly liberating. The thing is, is it's just a man's role. Period. Guys just need to suck it up and take responsibility. I'll hear no whining. No whining at all.
;)
I find that asking guys out doesn't on the whole lead to successful relationships. I'm trying a new approach. Telling the bloke to ask me out. That eliminates the problem of too subtle hints of interest, and at the same time allows them to do the essential job of pursuing. I'll let you know how this approach pans out.
I think maybe there are a lot of variables that need to be in place for a girl to ask a guy out. Maybe I'm over-analyzing here, which is entirely possible -- it's what I do best.
My point is, I think a girl has to take into consideration the kind of guy she's asking out. One of my brothers, who is ultra-traditional alpha male, told me once that if a girl ever asked him out, no matter how much he liked her, it was an automatic turnoff. But the kind of guys that I tend to be attracted to are a little more shy and reserved, and definitely not alpha male, ultra-traditional.
Problem is, I don't want to be the dominant person in the relationship anymore. So should I wait for a guy to make the first move, so that I'm not setting a precedence for me to be the leader?
Urgh. This comment is a little more personal than I want it to be, but whatever.
I would suggest waiting for a guy to ask you out if you are looking for a more dominant personality type.
Barry
accept your new role - do the asking - i guarantee the theoretical "he" will not say no.
shan
Post a Comment
<< Home