Relationships are Scary, so Buy a New Album Instead

Have you ever bought an album and become so completely enamoured with it that you listen to it for days on end? I mean, it's kind of like a new relationship. Here are the parallels.



Step 1: The Flirt
You think you might like a certain artist. You think over buying one of their albums. When you're at the music store, you pick up a CD of theirs, decide you don't have the money to buy it this week, and put it back on the shelf.
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You see a person that looks interesting to you from afar. You wonder what they're like. You actually make eye contact a couple of times. Maybe you even talk to them briefly. But you never really make it to the next step -- buying.

Step 2: The Wait
You finally make an effort to not eat out one night and, instead, designate the money you saved by not eating to buying said album. You go to the record store and -- wait. They don't have it! Don't panic. You order it from the record label online. It's on the way.
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You finally make an effort to talk to the person you've been eyeing and wondering about. You make your move. You say the things you'd planned out the night before in your head and the conversation flows relatively well. He asks for your number. But wait! He doesn't call for a week.

Step 3: The Expectation
The album arrives in the mail. You are excited to find that the record label also sent you a free compilation of the folks on their label. And a button with the label's logo on it. But you're more excited to hear what you've been waiting to hear. You really hope it meets all of your high expectations.
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He calls you. It's a date. You get all gussied up, check your hair one last time before you walk out the door. He meets you at the restaurant. Your palms are sweaty as you drive to meet him. You really hope he's as awesome in real life as he is in your head.

Step 4: The Consummation
You put the CD in the CD player and the beautiful tunes spiral into your head. It's everything you hoped it would be.
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You listen to words come out of his mouth that have never sounded so good. Words like: kids, compassion, football, art, Kierkegaard, and travel. He's everything you hoped he would be. (What did you think I meant by consummation?)

Step 5: The Dance
You listen to the album non-stop. You find out everything about the artist you can. You learn the lyrics. You sit there one night listening to the whole album, listening to the lyrics, the shifts from verse to chorus to bridge. You're in love.
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You want to be with that person non-stop. You find out everything you can about that person. (You get your information directly from them, of course. No creepy stalking. Maybe the occasional googling, but that's it.) You talk until the wee hours of the morning, on the phone or in person. You learn who that person is -- their idiosyncrasies, beliefs, reactions. You're in love.


* Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Sometimes you will become obsessed with an album and put so much time into listening to it, that you become burned out and tired of it. Sometimes you know when to quit listening to the album before such burn out occurs -- a preemptive dismissal. Such a dismissal is not always bad, and sometimes leads to a friendship later on down the road with that album. And maybe -- if you're lucky -- this will be the album that stays with you. The one that makes the cut and fulfills you for the rest of your life. (Though I'm only guessing that that can happen, as I have not yet found an album that has made such a cut.)

(Liz Janes's Done Gone Fire is amazing.)