How do you...
So maybe it's an unofficial rule that you have to keep a blog light-hearted or political or full of reviews about everyday "stuff."
But I'm gonna break the rules with this post.
How do you be a true friend -- how do you respond? what do you say? -- to a person that has very little self-respect or self-confidence but also believes that the world, that other people are the problem -- not them? Do you tell them how awesome and lovely they really are? This may help with the self-confidence problem, but what about the arrogance part? How do you make them understand that the world is not all bad? That their way isn't the only way? How do you explain that "man" is not bad to a person that doesn't like him- or herself? How do you help end this cycle of destructive thoughts? I know that it depends primarily on the person -- that I, in actuality, can influence them very little. But how do you tell someone, that's maybe never been told, how great they are and not blind them to the fact that there are serious problems with that destructive behavior?
Ok, so this is not rhetorical. I want to hear what you think. It's quite a quagmire. And I'm referring to more than one person here. And maybe -- probably -- this is a little autobiographical. Talk amongst yourselves.
But I'm gonna break the rules with this post.
How do you be a true friend -- how do you respond? what do you say? -- to a person that has very little self-respect or self-confidence but also believes that the world, that other people are the problem -- not them? Do you tell them how awesome and lovely they really are? This may help with the self-confidence problem, but what about the arrogance part? How do you make them understand that the world is not all bad? That their way isn't the only way? How do you explain that "man" is not bad to a person that doesn't like him- or herself? How do you help end this cycle of destructive thoughts? I know that it depends primarily on the person -- that I, in actuality, can influence them very little. But how do you tell someone, that's maybe never been told, how great they are and not blind them to the fact that there are serious problems with that destructive behavior?
Ok, so this is not rhetorical. I want to hear what you think. It's quite a quagmire. And I'm referring to more than one person here. And maybe -- probably -- this is a little autobiographical. Talk amongst yourselves.
posted by Lauren | 11:05 AM
6 Comments:
Yeah. Me again.
I don't really know what to do for someone like that, being as I am a person like that myself. But I try to help people appreciate at once their own value and the value other people have, by emphasizing everyone's good points. So if they speak ill of themselves, you counter with a good attribute; you don't necessarily contradict them, you just think of something about them that is good. And if they start to speak ill of others, you can counter by saying "Yeah, but at least..." followed by a good attribute. Making them feel special doesn't necessarily mean making them feel BETTER than other people--at its most basic level it simply involves helping them understand how special they are TO YOU.
I dunno, I'm just guessing.
Thanks for the comment, Ian. I think you're dead-on, but I also think it's not that simple...
It's never that simple. We live in a world of inconsistencies and infinite variety, not one of platonic ideals. My suggestion wasn't really intended as a catch-all, but rather as a stop-gap solution while one considers other measures. At least it could serve as one weapon in an arsenal...
What do you try?
I usually just nod.
No, really. I have no idea. That's why I made this post. I usually just flatter them with the compliments that they fish for, I guess.
I guess it's important to understand and accept that we all have strengths and weaknesses. Once we incorporate that knowledge we can at once revel in our merits and remain humbled by our flaws. I'll never be the bean-pole or mad-scientist I once dreamed of being; but I've a remarkable facility with language and (to quote Homer Simpson) "I'm drought and famine resistant."
Post a Comment
<< Home